Is your Sack Empty ??

The unanswerable question, that arises in every mind. To be or not to be, to stick to it or to move on !I encountered two incidents last week that made me think, think about that mystical cloud that clutters over relationships.

Incident 1 : A Very close friend of mine who was complaining about his Job, his arrogant boss, his monotonous schedule, his unfriendly team mates and so on!

Incident 2 : Another friend of me who started having problems in his long term relationship, who now wonders if she should stick to it or to move on!

I'm sure they shared things not just because they needed a solution for their problems from me, but a heart not an ear that could listen to their issues. I was listening to them for almost an hour.

I consoled them and that night these thought preoccupied my mind, It was a no moon day, the day I usually spend time in my terrace star gazing. That day I was wondering how jumbled and disarrayed these stars are but still they remain alluring. Just think wouldn't it be boring if the stars were aligned in a matrix one after other ?? So is Life

"Life is Complete only with all the Incompleteness"

As I was gazing at the bewitching sky, the voice of my fiends who spoke to me started echoing. I stretched myself of the straw mat in my terrace and started thinking. I found a similarity in both their issues. The Expect things in return for what they do, of course everyone does, but when your actions are merely focussed on the returns, you can expect disappointment as it is a rule, for mosta the game we think we play, but its the circumstance that governs the game.

The person in the relationship says she was utmost dedicated, she does everything for him and she "Sacrificed" this, that and a lot for him but he always does things in his own way, he never bothers to care. The friend of mine said his boss neva appreciates when his idea clicks or when he is ahead of deadline, but the boss never fails to screw every inch of his happiness when he slips his schedule and a lot more complaints. Both of them have "Adjusted" for a long time and finally when they broke out it is volcanic. Whats the problem here, neither of the sides is justifiable. After contemplating on both of their issues 'n complaints I found the loophole which might have been the reason for a major problem.

I found a war between "Adjust and Understand".

Whenever the situations and circumstances are undesirable, when we have a red eye over our boss, when we have a face-off with a loved one, when we have a controversy with a close friend, when we have a difference of opinion with a colleague or business partner, human tendency is to try defending our Stans and if that is not possible we try to Adjust. "Adjust", there begins every problem.

Consider in every relationship you have a sack at your back. Sack is empty in the beginning, and as days roll on, we come with all the above said difference of opinions leading to verbal wars. SO what you think is, it is better to avoid this topic here-on. So this is adjusting, which sounds pretty correct to have a smooth relationship. But just consider this as a stone, the topic which you avoid to discuss is a stone added in the sack in your back. As days roll on, you get new stones added in the sack of your relationship. You have a lot of topics that you could not discuss/share. So a virtual distance rises up, the topics you avoid starts out numbering the topics you could discuss. A gap or a slit is formed in the relationship. What sounded to be really prospective/lovable in the begining is something now which you think a lot even before just speaking. Your Sack has become so heavy, you find it difficult to carry the relationship. It simply means, Adjusting can never be a solution. Its o'ly the foundation you lay problem that you wanna see down the line.

So what can be done. If Adjusting is not the solution, what else is ?

Understand. People often confuse these too. They pretend to understand,but what they actually do it Adjust. Yes, Understanding is also a sack at the back, but with a big hole, you drop the stone at the sack but its dropped on the way, foreva, keeping your relationships light!

To Understand someone is not so easy, but yes, it is not so tough too, If you really are interested in having the relationship moving smooth. Just two things would do.

1.) What if I were him/her ?

If this again gives a negative answer for you, Goto 2

2.) People are as different as their DNA. God made them so.Nobody is a replica of yours. Those who live happy don't have the right ones next to them. It is just that they learn to enjoy living with minor discrepancies . They have a concave lens over the negatives and convex over the positives.

Relationships are like crystals once broken can never be fixed

and even if fixed will never be the same.

Treasure every Relationship and Never be judgmental. Keep your Sack Empty !!

Happy Living !!

An Old Man in my Street Corner !

"The Greatest of Pleasures often lies in the smallest of deeds"

I've often been reminded of this line from Paulo, wheneva I sit in my veranda to sip my cup of coffee.

Its true that we love these small things a lot but we often despise paying attention to it.

Its just another day on my veranda sipping my coffee, Its West facing and so sitting there is pampering while the sun sets.

One such day, I ought to find an Old man. He seemed to be bearing a humble ragged figure , in late 50's.

He may not have been very old, but he had been badly treated by life and time.He used crutches, because one of his legs was withered. What really impressed me, though, was that even with the crutches he managed to carry an old classical Harmonium (Sort of a small Piano)

He sat down in the street corner, which is normally a buzy lane. He stretched sitting and set his instrument. No one in the road ever bothered to pay attention to him, He observed the hustling atmosphere for a moment, stared the Quill in the electric line above, smiled, and in few moment he started to sing.

As soon as I heard his voice singing, I started to shake all over, It was like the voice of an Angel, So serene and blessed, yet sad!

Not just me, his voice penetrated every soul around there Little by little it filled the whole atmosphere, echoing around, involving and elevating !

I could see chindren stop playing and start staring him, a sense of mesmerism spread across in the air.

A hefty lady who was in her evening walk by the road intending to reduce weight was stuck by the song,

A Door delivery boy amidst the heavy weight on his bi-cycle stood stunned listening to the soul-penetrating song.

The Old mans face bore a serenity of charm amidst the dark spotted skin, wrinkled forehead and shredded grey hair.

I realized that every single person over there were experiencing a moment of ephimeral eternity, a communion with other souls as if by magic . We had been called to another dimension, to a more beautiful universe where perhaps everything made sense... or perhaps not!

His voice shattered the barriers and made all of us One ! It was truly mystical !

Now the hustle-bustle of the street was freezed, freezed because of his song, I could feel the blooming freshness in every face as if they have soaked their soul in spirituality, as if its the day they were born!

Few moments later, making it more sustaining at heart, his voice grew quiet and a silence remained that had an almost oppressive taste of emptiness. But then, hands clapped effusively, smiles lit up every face and the children roared out enthusiastically for an encore.

The old man never reacted except for a divinely smile he bore, he gathered his crutches and folded back his instrument and started to walk as if his mission is completed.

The spur of the moment, I back led my coffee, ran out and only rested when I caught up to him, all out of breath.

I excavated my tracks pocket to pullout the little money I had and squzeed it in his hands, but neither it brought a difference in the way he reacted. He was set to proceed!

He was about to turn back and thats where I holded his shoulders and hugged him an appreciation. I felt something beyond humane in him. I concluded my embrace asking him never to stop singing! His wrinkled face grew soft and his eyes shrink as he smiled at me.

I never saw him again, but I would like to believe that he is walking down other paths, weeping his fado songs, making people smile from the soul, fulfilling his mission.

If he happens to stop by near you, please tell him that I have not forgotten him.

P.S : There is lot to admire is this big world,

Embrace every moment, Acknowledge it with Love,

You don't need anything Worth a million to make others happy.

More often Love and care, straight from heart is worth a Million Dollar!

" Keep Smiling and make People Smile with pristine love "